The Truth: Day 12 - Something You Never Get Compliments On

Hmmm... I admit there are just some things that I do not know and I do not care to know. There are also some things I know that I just kept to myself - selfish. Usually, I never get complemented with my looks, personality, and my intelligence? (am i?).. LOL!

I get the occasional remarks like, you're so smart and you look nice.. "Nice!" and "Smart" nothing else. Might as well say, you're average, which is what I am. Not that I have anything against average. I have always been average. Well, I am not the prettiest nor the most beautiful.  I am also not the smartest nor the most intelligent, so its better than nothing. :)

I also never get complimented about my singing voice (like I have). Again, there goes the occasional, "you sound good". There goes my singing career! hahaha! :))

I never really pay attention to complements. In fact, I think it’s our culture that made us modest and not take complements. Everybody loves flattery (who doesn’t). Everyone wants to get praises and complements. But whenever I get complements, I feel like I’m being conceited. When being acknowledged for a job well done by my superiors, I feel that I don’t deserve them.

If I do something, I do not expect complements. If I get it, thank you. If not, it’s all part of the job. So for those who feel like complementing this blog, thank you. If not, thanks for dropping by. At least I know I’m not talking to myself.

The Truth: Day 11 - Something People Seem To Compliment You The Most On

I have previously posted what I think people compliment me on. Honestly, I really have no idea. I think it is better to ask the people who are close to me or the people I deal with everyday. 

They would probably give you a better description of what I actually do best because I can't figure it out. The most certain is whenever I do something, I try to give my best, regardless whether I like the job or not. It's not about the job. It's about me. I know it sounds selfish.

Just to give a glimpse of myself:

I  know I cant please everybody, that’s why i never tried. But whatever I do, I always do my best, even if it means doing something I don’t like. Why? Because it reflects me. I like pretty things, being organized, being in control. I always want to be perceived as someone who knows what to do and do it best. You don’t have to love your job, you just have to love yourself! 

and here:

Day 11: Something about which people seems to compliment you.

I think that's enough. :)

The Truth: Day 10- Someone You Need To Let Go, Or Wish You Didn’t Know

I can't explain why I need to let go of a person from a third person perspective. So just imagine me writing a letter to the one I need to let go... and here goes:

-------

Dear You:

I need to let go of you. I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for you. You have helped me through rough times in my life and I truly appreciate what you did for me. Things haven't come easy. And, the harder we try, the more I know that things really aren't suppose to be.

I never wished not knowing you. I have loved you so much but I do not think it would be enough for me to consider being with you. It hurts. Everytime I realize that, everytime I think about it, it makes me cry. I have been paralyzed. I denied it. I rationalized it but at the end, the answer is still the same.

You have no idea how much I've prayed for things to work out. I have prayed so hard that things will come back again, things will be the same again. I have become another person and I know you did too. Distance had made me stronger.  It had made you vulnerable, however.

I wanted so badly to be you. I never wanted it to end this way. I prayed for my fondness to return, for the feelings to return. When it did, it is short-lived.

You have to understand whenever I am with you, I am genuinely happy. I never wanted the moment to end. But reality is a bitch. Our life isn't bed of roses and the longer I deny, and prolong my delusion, it will still spell "the end". I am truly sorry.

I wish you happiness. I wish you love. I wish for everything you need to be brought to you.

Sincerely,
Bebekoh

P.S. I am still praying for us.

The Truth: Day 09 - Someone You Didn’t Want To Let Go, But Just Drifted

No one likes goodbyes further more, no one wants to drift apart. Every relationship I had I have cherished whether it is short-lived or life-long. I always appreciate my friends and I often (not all the time) listen to their advice.

People have come and gone in our lives and changed it. I like that they are still out there and know that I am still here for them should they want to regain our relationship.

There maybe a couple of people who I wish I was still friends with, but they chose (not me) to just let it go. I do not know their intentions nor the reasons, we just grew apart. And I have tried to reconnect with them. I looked for them on facebook, asked around about them, tried once or twice to send them an email but with no reply. I just think they're all busy. But I guess it was meant to be.

No matter what I know I'll always remember them. They have made an impact in my life and that's basically what everyone wants in this world. To matter, to make an impact to someone. And I do hope, I have made an impact on them too.

Goodbyes are part of our lives. It's inevitable. It just hurts and that's probably why I do not like goodbyes... only see you later. I do hope to see them all again and let them know how much their friendship mean to me. I hope God oversees them. I pray for their successes, for protection and for blessings to shower over them. And, I'll see you later.

The Truth: Day 08 - Someone Who Made Your Life Hell, Or Treated You Like Shit

I am going to skip this one out. That should be a good thing. No one treated me like shit or made my life a living hell as I didn't allow it to happen to me. I used to just keep my feelings to myself and not talk about it. I always try to be in other people's shoes and think of how hurtful words can be.

Unfortunately, you get passed by and taken for granted if you don't talk. I learned now that you can still say what you want without being rude. I never really believed in treat others the they treat you. LOL! Being diplomatic has its perks. People notice you, they respect you, and they listen. 

Of course, being human makes me vulnerable to outburst which is apparently quite often than i thought especially during that time of the month. It is hell!

So for someone who treated me like shit or made me think that life is hell, I'll pray for you. I would rather be alone than be with someone who made me feel stupid and that I wasn't worth it. Like I'm imperfect and that I was not enough. At the end of the day, I've proved that I am worthy, and I am enough. I do not need someone like that in my life and that I can do it on my own. As a matter of fact, my life has a clearer perspective when I got rid of you. Think of it this way, it's your loss, not mine. My bad... :P