I must have written it several times now. And I have to admit that it has become tiring to keep repeating myself. But then, it is actually good to write it down. You find something to hate about yourself everytime you write it down and enumerate. I guess, for me, it has been consistent and I can see that my attitude has not changed. But I am working on it.
The thing that I hate about myself...hmmm....
- well, there's my looks. I am not pretty, i do not feel pretty either.
- I am a pathological procrastinator. I would keep putting things off until its about time and I'm cramming.
- Then, there's this need to please everyone.
I may not only be the one who is struggling nor hating themselves over these. But this struggles are mine to face and to overcome. I have realized that I may never be able to overcome them but I know I can make a-peace with it.
For instance, beauty is skin deep (at least that's what I keep telling myself). Eventually beauty will fade. And God looks in the heart while man looks outwardly. I have accepted that I can never be a fashion model, nor a beauty queen but God gave me beauty, in my own little way. At least God will see the beauty in me.
As for the procrastination, I should manage my time more effectively. I can't keep procrastinating. Then, the need to please everyone, hmmm. I have realized that I can't make everyone happy. But if I know, I'm right. I will stand for it.
God didn't try to please everyone either. As a matter of fact, He had a lot of enemies plotting against him. Yet, still perfect and pure and sinless.
Whatever it is that I hate about myself, I will learn to love it eventually. I will eventually learn to overcome each obstacle and make a-peace with things that I can't overcome. I just need to be patient.
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