Thursday, March 10, 2011

Day 03: Something with which you struggle

Struggle? I find the word rather difficult to understand. I didn't feel there was a struggle in my life. If there are, I probably have not realized it. That’s it’s already in my face.

But if there is any, it is probably procrastination. I kept putting everything off and unfortunately, never decide to ever do it.

When things got at out hand and I feel the need to scream, I find myself calm. I can’t lose control, thinking problems will soon go away. I’m not saying I run from a struggle or problem, but I know when to avoid it, when to work it out and when to just let it be.

All that has happened in my life, I only come to realize later. I never had the chance to think about it sooner and if I do, I procrastinate.

What else? Hmmm… I don’t like confrontation and I hate being hated. I try things that will please more people. I say “I don’t care” when it’s not actually true. I do care what people say and what people expect. I always think of the most appropriate words and do what is generally right.

People may not find these a struggle. But it takes a lot of effort for me to do them. It had been difficult to give up and change my perspective just to overcome what I struggle. It is not completely gone but I have already started working on it. I am not disappointed if its still there every now and then, but if it does not impair my activities, I am totally up to it.

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